at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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