She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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