Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize