And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
