Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
