Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
