Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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