So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
