I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
