The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
