he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
