This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
