My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
