did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
