i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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