You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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