the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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