accomplished twins. life is a go
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I will be naked everywhere
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
