There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
