i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize