So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
