Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
