he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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