I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
