I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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