Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize