Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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