is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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