i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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