I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
