im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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