i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
