You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
