What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Michael Bay diarrhea
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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