maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
