CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
