My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
