And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
