i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
