Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize