also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
