sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you will always have a special place in my vag
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I still have a little drunk in my system
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
