He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
