Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Randomize
