"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
