Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
