found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
