yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
