Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
