nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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