Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Come on in and take your pants off
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