So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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