At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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