is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
