a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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